10/04/2024 by Therapy For You

Beyond the baby blues: Your guide to navigating postnatal depression

Whether you’ve recently welcomed your first baby or have been through the process before, growing your family can be an incredibly joyous but also overwhelming time.

In fact, the majority of new mothers and fathers often feel highly emotional in the days immediately after birth. This is often referred to as the ‘baby blues’, and is something that many parents naturally experience and overcome after a few days.

But unfortunately, for some parents, this sadness can stick around for longer and progress into postnatal depression – something that around 10% of mothers and 8% of fathers are believed to struggle with in the weeks and months after their baby is born.

Below, we discuss what postnatal depression is, how it can affect you, and helpful tips to support you on your journey to feeling better.

What is postnatal depression?

Postnatal depression, sometimes referred to as postpartum depression, is a depressive illness similar to other types of low mood disorders, including clinical depression.

It affects everyone differently, emerging gradually or suddenly, with symptoms that range from mild to severe.

As an example, you might feel overly anxious about the health of your baby, which causes you trouble sleeping. Or you could find that you’ve become overly critical of your actions as a parent, leading to low self-esteem.

However this condition is starting to affect your mood and outlook, it’s important to remember that living with the symptoms of postpartum depression doesn’t make you a bad parent. If you’re struggling to manage, it’s important to speak to a mental health service that can help.

What can cause postnatal depression?

There is no single reason why postnatal depression develops in some parents. This mental health problem tends to affect everyone differently, and can be brought on by various triggers, such as:

A family history of mental health issues
Feelings of depression and anxiety during pregnancy
Recent, stressful life events
Past experience of domestic violence or abuse
Previous episodes of ‘postpartum blues’
A lack of support from family members or your partner
Poor, interrupted sleep
A sudden change in hormones

What are the signs of postpartum depression?

It’s not always easy to know if postnatal depression is causing you emotional difficulties. Symptoms vary from person to person, and can affect how they behave.

To understand whether you could benefit from dedicated support, consider if you recognise any of these behaviours in your day-to-day:

You feel sad and depressed
You are more irritable
You constantly feel tired
You feel inadequate or guilty
You have begun having panic attacks
You have thought about self-harming

How can postnatal depression affect you?

Whether you’ve only just begun to notice postpartum depression symptoms, or have lived with these feelings for months, this kind of emotional challenge can have an effect on your life.

Maintaining a positive outlook may become harder

Caring for a baby is a task that requires not only physical strength, but also mental resilience.

If you’re finding it difficult to manage your emotions, the responsibilities of being a parent can add to your feelings of sadness, anxiety and stress. As you can imagine, this could make it hard to maintain a positive outlook long-term.

Hurdles can get in the way of you and your baby’s bond

Nurturing a connection with your child is a precious part of their early years and an enriching part of your experience as a parent.

But if postnatal depression is creating barriers between you and your baby, you might feel sad, low or even guilty. Over time, this can intensify your challenges and form a cycle that can be hard to overcome.

Supportive relationships can become tougher to maintain

Whether you’re a new parent or someone with previous experience, welcoming a newborn is easier when you share the responsibility between you and your partner.

However, if the way you feel is affecting your relationship, nurturing a family environment that supports you and your child’s needs can become more challenging.

3 tips to better manage postnatal depression

Postpartum depression can be a huge weight on your mental health, your quality of life, and your bond with your baby. But you don’t have to live weighed down by these emotions forever.

Whatever signs and symptoms you’re currently experiencing, there are ways to feel better.

1. Practise self-care

Welcoming a new member of your family to the world can be exciting, but equally overwhelming. If you’re finding it difficult to cope several weeks after birth, it’s important to find opportunities to put your needs first.

This could mean:

Setting boundaries, limiting when people can visit to avoid disturbing the baby
Asking for help from others, whenever you feel stuck or strained
Getting active with your child, taking strolls outside or working out at home
Leaving time to pursue hobbies, like reading a book or gardening when you can
Spending time as a couple, and enjoying activities you used to do together regularly

Your approach to self-care should be unique to you and your preferences. For more tips and advice on practising self-care, read our blog post.

2. Try Behavioural Activation

A new child often means disrupted sleep patterns, irregular routines and new priorities – three things which can leave us feeling stressed, anxious and low.

As you can imagine, this can make it hard to find the motivation to balance daily childcare duties with other feel-good activities.

In practice, this might mean you now struggle to find the motivation to shower, brush your hair or meet with friends outside the house. As a result, your mood can suffer, adding to the difficulty of completing the activities you need and want to.

To overcome this, Behavioural Activation is a powerful exercise you can do to break the cycle and plan things for yourself and your baby.

First, take a sheet of paper, turn it landscape and draw three columns, making sure to label them ‘Routine’, ‘Necessary’, and ‘Pleasurable’:

Routine tasks are things you do, or used to do every day, without a second thought, such as cooking dinner, cleaning the dishes and showering
Necessary tasks are activities you have to do to avoid negative consequences; this might include paying bills or booking an MOT for your car
Pleasurable tasks are actions you enjoy, such as reading a book, going out with friends or riding your bike

With this in mind, note down at least five activities you’d like to accomplish in each of these three categories next week. Ideally, you’ll make sure to include tasks that vary in difficulty.

Next, with 1 representing the easiest difficulty and 3 the hardest, rank each of the activities you have listed based on how challenging you think they would be to complete.

If your list is full of 2s and 3s, see if you can break them down into smaller parts. For example, if ‘Cleaning the Bathroom’ is a 3 for you, break that task into simpler chunks, like wiping windows and mopping the floor.

Once this is completed, grab a separate piece of landscape paper and chart the days of the week across the top. Then, write ‘Morning’, ‘Afternoon’ and ‘Evening’ along the side, making sure to include ‘What’, ‘Where’, ‘Who’ and ‘When’ across the bottom of the page.

Next, fill out this new worksheet by choosing three activities throughout the week. Schedule easy activities you rated as a 1 in your first week. For each task you plan in, think about what it involves, where it will take place, who will be with you, and when you will do it.

Getting specific about these details helps keep you motivated to stick to your arrangements, but we understand that a new child can make it hard to stick to a routine.

Do your best, keep it up, and after some time you’ll be able to live a life where postnatal depression no longer rules your mind.

3. Talk to someone about how you feel

Finally, saying how you feel out loud can make a world of difference, especially when somebody is there to listen.

Whether you feel comfortable talking to your partner, your family, a member of a support group or a perinatal mental health specialist – starting an honest conversation can be a great way to lift the weight of depression off your shoulders.

Millions of people in the UK alone have difficulties with their mental health – by talking to those in your life, you might find your experiences are more similar than you may have previously thought.

Get help managing postpartum depression today

If you’re one of the millions of mothers or fathers living with postnatal depression in the UK, the way you feel right now doesn’t have to be how you live forever.

By working with our mental health team at Therapy For You, your local NHS Talking Therapies provider in North East and South East Essex, we can get you on the path to feeling better day by day.

Through our first-of-its-kind postnatal depression online CBT course, as well as our wide range of other treatment options and support for mental health, we can help you develop valuable techniques to improve your outlook – all in a way that suits your preferences and unpredictable schedule as a parent.

For more about Therapy For You and the support we can provide, get in touch with one of our qualified postpartum therapists today.

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