11 Things You Can Tell Yourself to Boost Your Self-Esteem
How do you see yourself? When you picture yourself in your mind, are you happy with what you see, or do you criticise yourself and find more negatives than positives? Low self-esteem can have many effects on our lives, but we can do something about it.
We’ve put together a list of 11 things you can tell yourself to help boost your self-esteem and support techniques that can change your thinking for good.
#1 I am alive and so I have worth
The British Institute of Human Rights states that “human rights can never be taken away from you, they are part of what it means to be human”., This statement alone suggests that whoever you are and whatever your circumstances you have rights and you have worth. Low self-esteem can often lead to us feeling unimportant or worthless, so remember that you have rights; the right to express yourself and have an opinion and that your needs are just as important as everyone else.
#2 Saying no isn’t a negative thing
The pressure to always help others, be liked by others and say yes to everything can be overwhelming. But you can’t do everything and yet as hard as you try, those two little letters struggle to come out – N, O. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Saying no can mean asserting your own rights, looking after yourself and letting you concentrate on the things you do well. Two little letters that can free your mind, your time and give you back some power. So, when you need to, just say no.
#3 I’m human, not perfect
When people make mistakes, the common reaction can be “well I’m only human”. But low self-esteem can make us expect perfection and every little mistake we make can feel like a huge problem. Its important to realise, we are only capable of so much and the perfect person simply doesn’t exist. Celebrate the good you do rather than focus on the little mistakes. Remember that as a human you’re not expected to be perfect, you’re expected to be real and real people make mistakes.
#4 I won’t let one thing affect the rest of my day
Has this ever happened to you: you wake up, you get yourself ready for the day and go to have breakfast, only to realise you forgot to buy milk. No cereal today then, no bread either for toast. You’re then hungry all morning, you’re in a bad mood and tell yourself, “well, today is just a bad day”. We can often let one small event affect the rest of our day or make us feel like completely writing it off, but what if we didn’t? What if, we saw it as one incident, in a day full of possibilities and decided to make the rest of our day a better one? Try it!
#5 Would I say this to my best friend?
We are usually much better at giving advice to others than listening to our own and we can question the self-doubt and negative thoughts caused by low self-esteem in this way. Look at the things you tell yourself on a daily basis and ask, “would I say this to my best friend?”. The answer is probably not! Instead, would you tell them how great they looked or how well they handled that meeting? If you’d give a compliment to your best friend to boost their self-esteem, then do the same for yourself and practice what you preach.
#6 It’s okay to take some me-time
When low self-esteem takes hold and feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness enter our mind, we can often forget to take care of ourselves. Too busy trying to be perfect or hiding away from negative thoughts, self-care goes to the bottom of our list. Do something you love, see friends that make you happy and focus on your own happiness for just a short while. You deserve care too.
That little voice inside of your head, it’s usually saying negative things. “You’re lazy”, “You look ugly today”, “You can’t do anything right”. It’s just one common symptom of low self-esteem, and it’s one that you can change. Say stop to your inner critic. Shout it in your mind when a negative thought starts to creep in and remember that you don’t have to accept these thoughts, you can change them. STOP!
#8 I accept who I am: the good and the bad
Acceptance can be difficult if you have low self-esteem, but understanding and accepting who you are can truly help to boost your self-esteem and build confidence. Write down the things you are good at and the things you like about yourself. Perhaps you’re great at listening to people, you love to draw and paint, or maybe you make a cracking cup of tea? All these small things make up the person you are. Remember to love that person, even if it’s little by little each day.
#9 I can’t control everything
No-one can control everything in their life; not even Superman or Beyoncé. Which means there are aspects of your life and day that you can’t change or control. When something goes wrong, remember this and realise that some things are out of your control. When we realise that we can’t control the world, we can cut ourselves some slack and expect a little less of ourselves.
#10 Why am I thinking this way?
One of the biggest steps in overcoming low self-esteem is to understand why you are thinking the way you are. Where do these negative thoughts come from? Most importantly, ask yourself “What evidence do I have to support this thought?”. Is it because of what someone else has said to you, or is it because of one incident that you may have let affect the rest of your thinking? If you can understand your default thinking pattern – your go-to thoughts on a regular basis – you can start to understand how to change them and build a more positive thought pattern.
#11 I feel good because of me
You don’t always have to eat your humble pie. When things go well, or you feel good for a day, don’t just put it down to a fluke, the people around you or the environment you’re in. Recognise that you’ve done well, and give yourself credit for your achievements. No matter how small it is, know that you’ve done well.
When you start to change your thinking, it can feel unusual and even unfamiliar. It may be strange to think in a different way and the noticeable change in your feelings can seem odd too. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, so stick with it and you really can learn how to boost your self-esteem. These 11 thoughts help you to build on techniques you can use regularly. If you feel like these could make a difference, don’t just read this article and not think about it again – go out and do it! Tell yourself these 11 things; rewrite them, repeat them, say them out loud and start to live life the way you want to.
Therapy For You provides a range of therapy services, from psychoeducation to group sessions and 1-1 therapies, which can be delivered face to face, over the phone and on-line, engaging in the help you need, whatever your circumstances. This service is available to those over 18 living in Southend, Rochford, Rayleigh and Castle Point and throughout Basildon, Brentwood and Billericay. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you, get in touch today.